BBMA News Feed

WORKDAY SCAVENGER HUNT

And our champion is.........

RABBI!

Here's the breakdown:

Thanks for entering guys! Pictures and more info to follow!

DBD2010

It's happening! I know we've been lacking in details, but that is just because of all the work we've been putting into the perfect daiquiri recipe. Have no fear, as we are close, and the time is near.

More details this week, but the Workday Scavenger Hunt registration will be from 8-10 on Friday in Winthrop Sq. Have to be a working courier to enter, but all others are welcomed to help put the event on! Email for more info.

DEATH BY DAIQUIRI

For those of you who have not as yet seen the film Hotel For Dogs, there are some important life lessons buried in the deep metaphors of this cinematic gem.

1.You do not need to teach dogs to steal license plates off of police cars, they already want to.

2.Never lie to your friends, they will immediately find out and spill a bowl of punch on the dead person's dress you stole from an abandoned building.

3.Stealing is wrong, but the inventor of shrink wrap is still a genius.

4.You should never eat hot dogs outdoors.

5.Dogs are smarter than adults, but subservient to children.

6.The secret to eternal happiness is to screw up repeatedly until more responsible people steer you correctly onto a more constructive path.

7.Animal control officers are evil, they are not beyond beating up children and their cars run on the carcasses of dead puppies.

8.Contrary to popular belief, abandoned buildings are not filled with junkies, homeless people and miscreants, but rather amusement parks for stray dogs.

9.There are no cats in America and there are no stray Pit Bulls in New York.

10.You will watch just about anything within reach when you have three hours of sleep and nine hours of work behind you.

It's that time of year again folks, when you act extra kind to people you secretly want to strangle, show courtesy to plenty of distracted whackjobs who don't deserve it and wish people all sorts of seasonal greetings that mean pretty much nothing. They tip the mailman, their chiropractor, the paperboy, sometimes even the garbageman, so they don't tell the whole neighborhood about how maybe three times a year they see empty containers of extra-small condoms and about three times a month they find their discarded phone bill covered in exotic phone sex calls. But do we get a second look, a hey, thanks for this past year's service, thanks for compensating for our slacking and screwing off, thanks for getting that package in on time because I got too drunk on my two-hour lunch break to remember to do anything on time every Friday. Nothing. What I did get was hassled by a Municipal Safety Cop, because I was hauling around everything but the kitchen sink on Christmas Eve morning and happened to stop at the end of Long Wharf where he could corner me. I got a lecture about helmets amd licenses and numbers, and I got a suggested threat as to what would happen if I was caught again without these things outside the Christmas season. Is that what Christmas is about? Setting up a scenario for you to be a good samaritan even though you went out of your way to be a pain in the balls? Well guess what? Two can gift in that way. You're welcome Boston, for me not telling you all how inept you are behind the wheels of your car; last minute turns without signaling, sexting your significant other with one hand down your pants and nothing guiding the wheel, crowding the whole world at the curb because nothing is as important as you getting to work twenty mintues late rather than twenty-five. Your welcome Boston, for not being replaced by an entire workforce of efficient employees, who are able to do the job you pretend is impossible without seven imperitive hours of Facebook fellatio. Your welcome Boston, for trying to kill bicycles with your ten pound rolling hammer, because you think of them as mosquitoes, deserving to be splattered across the pavement. Most of all, you're welcome Boston, for not being exposed to the endless shame of not trusting your own citizens to choose how much they want to drink and when, after eleven, Sundays, holidays, etc. Proof positive you're all irresponsible screw-ups, except for us however, we have the foresight to forgive ourselves, or punish ourselves, with more drinking. Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year.

Based on the account of an EMT ambulance driver, it came to my attention that the myth of light frequencies and spectrums that can actually change red lights to green are a reality. It occurs to me, that should we find scientists, engineers and fabricators, sympathetic to our cause, our front lights could be re-tooled, rigged to elicit the same flashing pattern, burst and spectrum that said lights create, giving us an endless stream of green lights, negating the need to slow down or come to a stop ever. Though, with this in mind, if we truly are the ardent professionals we claim to be, said lights would be unnecessary, however, they couldn't hurt. But in the interest in cost-effectiveness, the violation of federal law, years of underground research and the inconsistency of dependence upon technology I would like to politely suggest that all traffic come to a halt in our presence, not out of respect, not for safety's sake, not even because you're the guy in your office who sends out all the last minute super rush packages at 4:50 to Pemberton sq., but because if you don't get out of our way, we'll get there by any means necessary, and that happens to include over the river, through the woods, across your path and through you.

Labels: u

So, after seven long years of nervous checking, night sweats, frantic excuses and heroin-fueled, chainsaw-wielding butterflies in my stomach every time I locked my bike, I finally manned up and sent my archaic cylinder-type u-lock back to Kryptonite in the hopes that they would replace it, even though the statute of limitations had passed many moons ago on their swap program. Upon calling them, I was told to 'just send it in and we'll send you back new keys or a replacement in two weeks'. I'm happy to report that after almost two months, they weren't lying, well, not really. When I got home from work tonight, sure enough, there was a brand new lock waiting for me, light-up extra key and all. I'd like to thank the fabulous Super Edin Brothers for loaning me the use of a spare, (you all may have assumed that I was just going to adopt it for my own) and whole-heartedly endorse Kryptonite's swap program to anyone who has yet to ditch their cylinder lock. You can't put a price on piece-of-mind, but according to the packaging the lock came in, you can put a price on theft, it's two-grand, which ain't bad. I would also like to encourage anyone in this city to consider the swapping of other things that don't function the way they should; your girlfriends, your glass eye, your disposable income, your free time, movies you don't watch, tools, shoes and pretty much most government jobs. I have a pouch full of beads and a sharp implement with your name on it that I would be happy to swap. Thanks.

As far as weather is concerned, most the year doesn't belong to us. As far as weather is concerned, we don't belong outdoors. As far as weather, most of the year belongs to the indoor class; the air-conditioned, heat-set, those who have chairs. But some days in the midst of fighting through, there is a sunny day, a warmer temperature, it's as if time stands still at an earlier date and we pass through a wormhole into the past. It's a full workday dream-sequence, where we wake up just as we had been the day before, only refreshed, renewed.

Forget for a moment that it snowed yesterday, forget for a moment that the lows are now in the 30s, and think back to Thursday, after the rain, after the uncertainty of the morning shower, when the sun came out, the temperature rose, and we had Spring in December. We don't remember them every year, we don't expect them most of the time, but they arrive regardless. These days, belong to us, they are ours for the taking, and we take them away from the weekend warrior, these days are for us, rather than against us. I know not to expect them, I don't want to explain them away, or jinx them by saying they're inevitable. I won't hold my breath waiting for one to show up, but should we have another day like Thursday, a Spring, or even a Fall day in the midst of Winter, I won't say no, I won't be dug into the ramparts of temperature control and blue-screen suntan. I'll be out, taking in the air, the sun and the glory. And while I bask in the glory of the great-changing Boston outdoors, I'll think back, on the rest of the year, when I actually had some jobs to do.

NEW LOGO & SHIRTS SOON!

New tshirts on the way soon, thanks BFRESH for the design!

GRUDGE MATCH 3!

Mark your calenders: Friday May 1st, Grudge Match 3. More details about the race and the ensuing party soon!

NACCC09BOSTON LOGO CONTEST

The 2009 NACCC needs a logo! It needs to be completely legible, say some combination of the following: BOSTON NACCC 2009, NACCC09 BOSTON, etc. This is the logo that would be on the official event t-shirt, stickers, patches, etc. I'm hoping to also use it (if it fits in the layout) at the top of the new NACCC website, which is nearly ready to post. Please let me know if you're interested in designing. I'd like to have all the submissions within 2 weeks (by weekend of Feb. 6th), then I'll put up some graphics and we can vote.

Volunteers interested in helping out with the event, please join the NACCC email list!

NEW NACCC SITE SOON!

It's coming together now! Anyone good at PHP/MySQL and want to donate a few hours? Get in touch!

PONY UP ii - SUCCESS!

This year's installment of Pony Up went great! Thanks to all the people who helped!

NYC swept the top 3, come on Boston, step it up!

PONY UP BITCHES!

Betting on Saturday opens at 3pm at 7 Sherman St. 3rd floor, Charlestown.

Get ready!

PONY UP BITCHES!(ii)

So, the winter is upon us. It's cold, it's snowy, it's slushy. Wintry mix.

Time to ride fast and party!

On January 10th the BBMA is throwing Pony Up 2, the second annual installment of our massively successful gambling alleycat. This year's event will also be a fundraiser for the 2009 NACCC. The party will get rolling around 3pm, keep your eyes out for the details on location!

The party will roll all night, so prepare yourselves! For those of you who saw the debauchery last year, expect at least the same this time around.

Thanks to our sponsors:

Open Bicycle
Trash Bags (MPLS)
Outlier
BBMA
Jacobs

Also, this will be the last race the BBMA's own Dark Angel will be rolling in for a while, make sure you try to keep his line!

SCUMBAG CUP 2007

We did give that girl the best coach available, and KP gave us the best dismount.

Sorry for the blown out audio.

PONY UP! (ii)

More details to come, but here's a flier!

NACCC 2008 CHICAGO!

So the 2008 NACCC's in Chicago have come and gone, and I'm finally sobered up enough to write a little report on the event. Augie and the ChiNACCC crew did a great job keeping us properly drunk, tired, sweaty and just overall satisfied.

After an all nighter helping Croth, Red and Lady Bird get our bikes ready for the plane, properly disguised as a trade show exhibit we all headed to the airport.

A couple hundred dollars in airport bar drinks later we boarded a plane for Chicago. Upon arriving we found ourselves in a disco wonderland called O'Hare.

Everything after I got off that plane is a bit blurry, as it should be. I know during that time I decided not to try and qualify, Croth killed it with 3rd overall, I killed many brain cells and memories, and I had a great time. There's far too much evidence of our debauchery on the internet already, so I'll hold off on some of the more illicit pictures, but here's a photo trip through our stay:

The city from 96 floors up.

Pure professional.

Chicago's architecture trumps Boston's, to say the least.

Tourists.

Making moves.

Tourists, really.

Red looking suave.

Croth should always wear skinsuits, they suit him so well.

This might be the fastest I went all weekend.

Travis holding it down.

Alex being artistic.

Red making himself comfortable.

Marco showing the rookies how it's done.

Grillmaster Chuey.

All about that guy.

Aquanetta.

Gettin' loose.

Souphorse workin' it.

Croth in the headlights.

DC's finest.

Austin + Chicago Critical Mass

That's right.

Boston reps hard.

Nap time.

10-9 DAY

So the annually celebrated Bicycle Messenger Appreciation Day has just passed, what did you do for your favorite package courier?

NACCC!

NACCC Chicago was a huge success! Croth got 3rd overall, killing it!

Boston also locked in our bid for NACCC09. Get ready! Full news post with pictures to come!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Monday, December 28, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Monday, March 23, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008